don't quit, don't even quit.

Fell asleep last night during Cavs/Bulls game. Surprised all of LeBron’s screeching re: non-call at the end of the game didn’t wake me up.

so, that happened.

Remember this girl?

You would think, at the very least, that I would try and time things so that when I finally got around to stammering out, “Uh, you’re really cute and, uh, it sucks that you live in New York because, uh, I really like you,” it would not be during the same week that the Yankees were in the process of — gulp — winning the World Series.

But again, you’d be wrong. So, it’s a mixed bag. She roots for a baseball team that is now the World Champion Spawn of Satan, but, you guys, I really like her.

an entirely red sox preoccupied preview of the sixth game of the 2009 world series

—now, I uncomfortably dislike Curt Schilling as much as the next gay commie pinko liberal Red Sox fan who is grateful for his contribution to the 2004 World Championship but has, in the intervening five years, decided that his high-volume conservative politicking now outweighs his folk hero status, but. But!

The Phillies are already throwing Pedro out on the mound for Game 6; they should highly consider hiring probably-not-actually-beloved-at-all ex-Philly Curt Schilling to sit in the dugout, just to get the Game 6 at Yankees Stadium/The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty mojo going. I’m just saying.

Alternately, the Yankees could pay Grady Little to throw out the first pitch.

Pagliuca’s senate campaign commercials = misguided. Ethics? Health care? Jobs? All ads should start: “FROM THE GUY WHO BOUGHT YOU KG ….”

Philly crowd chanting “YOU TOOK STEROIDS!” loud & strong 3 batters into bottom of 1st. Never been there, but think I would love that town.

That shot of Derek Jeter’s awkward head-bop during the “Empire State of Mind” pre-game performance summed up his ENTIRE HUMAN EXISTENCE.

ESPN.com’s Pedro-related headline reads “Daddy, I’m Home”. It’s vaguely dirty, slightly confusing, and I like it.

like ripping off a ....

To commemorate the inauguration of the 2009-10 NBA season, I would like to dedicate this post to my roommate Julia.

Julia hates sports, and when the Red Sox season ended, she was lulled into a false sense of security regarding the state of our television. So, when she came home last night and I said, “Guess what we’re going to do tonight?” she was clearly expecting one of our usual lesbiatronic activities (make kale chips, feed our compost worms, put a bumblebee costume on the cat) and instead I said, “WATCH A BASKETBALL GAME!”

Every time we watch a basketball game featuring a player who has suffered a minor wound of the face, Julia asks me why the training staff can’t get ahold of some flesh-colored Band-Aids that more appropriately match the flesh tones of its players.Case and point last night: Ray Allen.

I never have a satisfactory answer for Julia (herself a Skin Tone Other Than the Shade of the Average Band-Aid American), but she does have a point, particularly when it comes to the Celtics. Boston only has one white guy on their team, and Brian Scalabrine is so pasty white that a quote-unquote “flesh-toned” Band-Aid would look as out of place on him as it does on Ray Allen.

(Also, if anyone slightly jostles Scal’s gargantum cranium, he’s going to get another concussion, and a Band-Aid won’t help that.)

So, because Julia has another long season of watching basketball ahead of her, and because last night she said, “So what was the outcome of your game?” and I said, “Uh … they won?” and she said, “Well, you didn’t seem excited enough,” and I said, “Yeah, it’s a long season,” I would like to compose the following memo to the Boston Celtics’ training staff:

Please get some facial bandages that demonstrate greater cultural competency in meeting the needs of your target population. In lieu of that, perhaps you could obtain some Superman Band Aids. Just don’t let Paul Pierce hog them all. Also, thank you for fitting Kevin Garnett with a cyborg knee.

Probably best that Mike & Tommy are not announcing Celtics/Cavs game. Not sure I’m ready for Tommy’s reaction to seeing LEON on Cavs bench.