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October 7

kellyem

163

I watched last night’s Twins/Tigers game because play-in games are amazing, but also because I thought it would be a lobster-in-the-lobster-pot way of aclimating myself to the ear rape that is TBS postseason baseball coverage. That did not work so well. There is no way to prepare yourself for Ron Darling, Chip Caray and Craig Sieger.

I never thought an announcing crew could have me begging for Buck and McSatan, but then in the top of the fourth inning, Gerald Laird grounded into a double play to end the inning and during the replay, Ron Darling said, “That’s good old-fashioned baseball!” Yes, Ron Darling, it’s true. A ground ball placed such that infielders are able to tag out two runners on the same play HAS RESULTED IN TWO OUTS SINCE 1876. YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR.

I would worry that Craig Sieger was blowing his wad early with that “someone’s junior prom orchid corsage jizzed all over my entire suit” ensemble, but I know better than to challenge the depths of Craig Sieger’s wardrobe, which I imagine is a black hole with a portal directly into the Ross Dress for Less in hell.

If you are like me, and you are currently spending a lot of time preserving peaches and tomatoes and apple butter for the winter (because you liked things better in 1876, when men were men and double plays were double plays) and you end up listening to large portions of baseball games on GameDay Audio in your kitchen, if this happens to be your situation, I highly recommend the Twins radio broadcast. Whoever announces those games is craaaaaazy. After the Orlando Cabera home run, I felt as though I had listened to him propose to, marry and consummate his union with O-Cab all while on the air.

But I digress. What a game, right?

BothTeamsPlayed Can either of these teams beat the Yankees? about 14 hours ago from UberTwitter

kelly_erin @BothTeamsPlayed Right now I’m not even sure either of these teams can beat each other. about 13 hours ago from Splitweet

So there’s that. And now the AL play-offs are aligned identical to their 2004 configuration, which is either a good omen or a sign of the apocalypse. Bring on the play-offs!

mlb
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