don't quit, don't even quit.

really can’t think of a place I’d rather see lugo than st. louis. I hope he & tony larussa are very happy together.

Our long national nightmare is … over? http://bit.ly/juliolugoDFA

We’re getting closer: http://bit.ly/juliolugosucks

Lugo DFA Threat Level: RED

All-Star Game thoughts no one cares about later, but first, an important announcement. The day when the words “Julio Lugo” and “DFA” are spoken in the same sentence while not 1) dreaming 2) drunk or 3) in a rage-coma may be closer than we think. I’m officially in Julio Lugo DFA Watch mode. I don’t think I’ll be this excited for the count down to a blessed event if/when I give birth to my first child.

You know how you can make a citizen’s arrest? I’m going to try & make a citizen’s trade for Julio Lugo. Any interested teams may contact me.

Julio Lugo: Today, my role on the Boston Red Sox was reduced to sacrificing in the pitcher’s spot. FML

things that happened to the red sox this weekend that were awesome

NOT PICTURED: Julio Lugo being kicked while he’s down.

1. Josh Beckett threw a complete game shut-out, which was awesome in every single way that it is possible to be awesome, including the part where I thought there was a 37% chance that Eck was going to propose marriage while on the air.
2. Crowd in attendance at Fenway appropriately acknowledged Derek Lowe (WHO PITCHED GAME SEVEN OF THE 2004 ALCS ON TWO DAYS REST, I DO NOT KNOW IF YOU RECALL), Derek Lowe appropriately acknowledged Red Sox fans by leaving the mound making the Derek Lowe Face.
3. Dice-K was placed on the DL with suck disease, which is not technically awesome, but is one billion million times more awesome than being forced to endure his continued presence in the rotation.
4. Nick Green has now replaced Julio Lugo in every single way that matters, including a memorable game-ending play on a parental holiday. Because walk-off error < walk-off home run, even if it was a Pesky Poll homer.
5. CC Sabathia left his start in the second inning with a vague-sounding arm injury. Okay, technically that didn’t happen to the Red Sox, but I’m petty.

Julio Lugo: “Happy Father’s Day to all the—” Nick Green: “WHO’S YOUR MOTHER FUCKING DADDY?” Julio Lugo: “…you are.”

Scorekeepers gave Oki the win b/c Dice-K didn’t go 5 innings. I would have given it to a) Phillies defense and/or b) (shudder) Julio Lugo.