don't quit, don't even quit.

an entirely red sox preoccupied preview of the sixth game of the 2009 world series

—now, I uncomfortably dislike Curt Schilling as much as the next gay commie pinko liberal Red Sox fan who is grateful for his contribution to the 2004 World Championship but has, in the intervening five years, decided that his high-volume conservative politicking now outweighs his folk hero status, but. But!

The Phillies are already throwing Pedro out on the mound for Game 6; they should highly consider hiring probably-not-actually-beloved-at-all ex-Philly Curt Schilling to sit in the dugout, just to get the Game 6 at Yankees Stadium/The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty mojo going. I’m just saying.

Alternately, the Yankees could pay Grady Little to throw out the first pitch.

Philly crowd chanting “YOU TOOK STEROIDS!” loud & strong 3 batters into bottom of 1st. Never been there, but think I would love that town.

That shot of Derek Jeter’s awkward head-bop during the “Empire State of Mind” pre-game performance summed up his ENTIRE HUMAN EXISTENCE.

http://bit.ly/5HdHh ESPN stories about the Yankees’ ALCS are required to include pictures of Jason Varitek humping Alan Embree. <3

Yanks/Angels: There’s still time. As we all know, it wouldn’t even be the biggest ALCS lead the Yankees have ever choked away.

paul byrd.

Paul Byrd, you’re a born-again Christian and self-proclaimed former porn addict. I’m a commie pinko lesbian. Also, you are old and you suck at pitching. You don’t like me and I don’t like you. But one night in the Bronx in October of 2007, we had an amazing one night stand. Let’s rekindle the magic, hmm?

If you know me, you’d think, “Kelly’s learned her lesson about crushing on girls who are Yankees fans.” But you’d be wrong.

I would rather watch Curt Schilling win a World Series for the Yankees than watch him run for senate in Massachusetts.

Still in California, trying to watch Yanks/Rangers on ESPN. Know I’m supposed to be rooting Rangers but have forgotten 3 SEPARATE TIMES.

Love how that Johnny Damon concussion is like the gift that keeps on giving.